Jokes:

Then there was this man who opened the fridge and said "Oops sorry" and closed the fridge. He had seen the SALAD DRESSING

A priest moved to the town of Pentonvilli . It was a Monday and wrote some letters to his friends and went out to find the post office since he had moved to this new place on Saturday and had not been around town yet.

He noticed a young boy playing in the street and said 'Hey young boy. Whats your name" The boy politely replied "My names Robert"

Priest: "Robert can you tell me the way to the post office "

Robert: "Oh, you turn left at the junction and first turn right"

Priest: "How come I did not see you at church on Sunday"

Robert: " I don’t go to the church"

Priest: "You should come regurlary and I will teach you the way to God"

To which Robert replied: "You don’t know your way to the post office, how will you teach me the way to God"

A goonda (Gangster) once visited to a resturant and……

Goonda to waiter:'Char plate biryani ' (4 Plates rice with meat/soup)

Waiter: 'Ji sarkar' (Yes Sir)

Goonda: 'Jab mei Biryani Khata hun sabhi biryani khayenge. Saab ko Biryani khilayo' (When I eat biryani everyone eats. Serve everyone with biryani)

To this everyone in the restaurant started to cheer and started to enjoy the food served on the goondas orders'

The goonda finished eating his meal took out some money and left it on the table and called out to the waiter and said….

Goonda: ' Meine apne biryani ke paise rakha hai. Jab mei paise rakta hun sab ko paise rakne chaiye. Sab se paise lo' (When I keep money for the food I consumed every one keeps down money for what he consumed. Collect money from everyone)

And the goonda walked out'

And then ther was this shop displaying Bikinis in the window and someone wrote on the window glass with a crayon "No diet ! No buy-it" (from readers digest )