1. Never wrestle with a pig; you both get dirty and only the pig enjoys it!
2. Never argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able tell the difference!
3. Rarely resist the opportunity to keep your mouth shut!
4. Donít ask the question if you cannot live with the answer!
5. If you donít know where youíre going, any road will get you there!
6. Never look back unless you intend to go that way!
7. Donít be irreplaceable, if you canít be replaced, you canít be promoted.
8. It doesnít matter what you do, it only matters what you say youíve done and what youíre going to do.
9. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
10. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
11. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
12. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isnít the work he/she is supposed to be doing.
13. If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
14. When you donít know what to do, walk fast and look worried